By Olagoke Olawepo (SIWES student, Gate Way Polytechnic)
A Nigerian widow, Sokeye Esther Bukola, embarked on a journey of matrimony with Sokeye Oluwaseun Gabriel in March 2016. Their love story was unfolding, and their future together seemed promising.
However, in February 2019, her world was shattered as she lost her beloved husband, leaving her a widow with two young children.
This moment became so dark for her and marked a profound turning point in her life, enveloping her in sorrow, numbness, shock, and fear.
Grief gripped her tightly, rendering her unable to shed tears, yet her heart was heavy with this significant loss.
Feelings of guilt for being the one who remained among the living intertwined with anger and a sense of betrayal towards her departed spouse.
She questioned why he had come into her life only to leave her so suddenly. She couldn’t help herself as the waves of intense, challenging emotions engulfed her.
Navigating the journey of widowhood is a difficult challenge regardless of location.
However, she would like to share her unique experience as a widow in Nigeria. In a country like Nigeria, where the masses swim in the ocean of economic hardship, the journey of widowhood takes on an added layer of difficulty.
Talking about the pain of loss is disheartening and makes her shed tears whenever she thinks about her condition and the current hardship in the country.
Even if one’s marriage was not ideal, the sense of loss and vacuum remains. Losing a spouse is a uniquely devastating experience that no one can fully understand the depth of your pain.
Society often watches closely to judge how one grieves. Society often expects one to grieve for a very long time and neglects the negative impact of isolation on mental health.
Failure to conform to these societal expectations usually leads to harsh judgments.
The crucial role spiritual solace played in her healing process cannot be overemphasized.
Spending time with God, participating in religious activities, and building a support network were other strategies that helped her cope.
Widowhood is a transformative and challenging experience. It is an emotional travail that many people do not understand.
Widows need support and intervention from individuals, groups, and the government.
